That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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