i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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