I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize