The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
