the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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