There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I deserve this hangover.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
