why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
