We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
