mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
