where am i from again
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
