Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
