the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
