I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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