I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
