In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize