i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
