dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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