Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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