But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
