So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
this will be a night to untag.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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