so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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