I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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