apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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