i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
