So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
