HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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