You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you didnt know i had herpes?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
