Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My life is pants optional.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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