which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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