i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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