I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
