i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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