Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
