you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
