He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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