Someone shit on the floor
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
