I think my vagina is haunted
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
