I just saw a hot homeless man
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
