Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
