Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
