Where is the hickey?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
