Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize