Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
