RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
