I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
