Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
