The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
