What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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