In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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