she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
