i just had sex bonerless
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
