you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
