honey bunches of taint.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
