what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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