I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
