if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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