Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
