dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
