They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
