I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
