just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
