He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
