Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize