i think my tv is drunk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
