Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
