she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
