bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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