See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
