Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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